dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
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You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
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I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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