Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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