New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
