If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
