I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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