I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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