so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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