i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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