Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
