i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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