Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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