I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just said "you do you" to my penis.