he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I wish there were birth control emojis
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.