I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you