White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.