two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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