It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
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