Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
