are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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