maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
