its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
