Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
