We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He better not be in your backpack
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
