I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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