I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I had to cum in my sink.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
