So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
