Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
