Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
