I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so let's talk penis.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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