Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
