Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
