Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
