i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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