just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
