Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
