need another drink. this is the easiest way
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
