I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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