If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
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I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
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In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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