escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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