i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
