good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
