Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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