Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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