Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
The maid of honor just puked.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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