dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
birth control should be required to get into college
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
