I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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