I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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