Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
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Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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