So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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