Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
