I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
