bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
