Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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