We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
