it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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