I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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