So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
