Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize