Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
