he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
