you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
