I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
