Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
